February 2, 2017

Just Saying…

By Q.C. Jones

Things I Hate

I know February is the month for love, but last week someone forwarded me to a website called “The 100 Things I Hate.” It was a hodgepodge of pet peeves, disappointments, petty annoyances and serious personal concerns. Once invited to the site, viewers were asked to provide the 100 things they hate. As I read through a few of the list, the therapeutic power of publicly hating became clear. The whole exercise looked easy and fun.

I started to make a list. Taking a free style approach, I let my mind wonder through annoyances large and small. I focused my mind on the negative. Digging deep, I dredged up grudges from my distant past. I was the hater’s hater. But, for the life of me, I couldn’t come up with list one hundred items long. However, I did come up with a few good ones. And, being the positive sort of guy I am, I believe you are going to positively hate my list.

In no particular order, and with tongue firmly planted in cheek, here is my list.

The Things I Hate:

1. I hate the explaining why the Quad-Cities has more than four towns.

Really, think about it. Most would say the four cities are Rock Island, Moline, Davenport and Bettendorf, but what about East Moline? It’s my understanding the original four cities counted East Moline and not Bettendorf. Are we allowed to kick someone out? And, for that matter, Silvis, Milan, Colona or Pleasant Valley are all part of the mix. Don’t they count?

2. I hate hearing people refer to the QCA as the cities.

Generally, this conversation comes up with people from smaller towns laying just 25 or 30 miles outside of the area. And, the conversation goes something like this, “I would come up to one of the events in the QCA but city traffic is so hard to maneuver through.”

3. I hate explaining the river direction around here.

Since I the ripe old age of eight, I learned the Mississippi River flowed from north to south. It took me a while to figure things out for myself, why do I need to explain that Illinois is actually south of my home on the Iowa high bluff of the Mississippi?

4. I hate explaining that Iowa is not the potato state.

As I travel throughout the country, I have discovered there are two kinds of people. Those who have relatives in Iowa and those who have no clue as to Iowa’s exact location. I even met a very nice lady on the subway in Cleveland who told me her daughter lived in Salt Lake City, Iowa. Somehow it’s strange to imagine folks could graduate from fifth grade geography without knowing Iowa is the hub of the universe.

5. I hate hearing people say there is nothing to do in the Quad-Cities.

When was the last time you heard someone say, there’s nothing to do in the Quad-Cities? My patience is getting thin on this one. Actually, I constantly run into the issue of having too many choices; difficult choices. Since the start of the New Year, I missed three very cool events. Why? Because I had to make a choice. Actually it’s like making the choice of your favorite genius. Starting with the A’s one has to decide between Albert Einstein, Albert Schweitzer, Albert King or even, Eddie Albert as their favorite “Albert” genius.

6. I hate being on a diet.

Could be New Year’s resolutions gone badly, might be the winter blahs or perhaps a case of too many great restaurants and microbreweries. What can I say? I love food, and I love and well-made beer from one of our growing list of great local breweries. Great River Brewery needs to make a low carb brew.

7. I hate a winter day without an eagle spotting.

For some reason each time I see an eagle perched on a tree along the river, my heart goes pitter patter. I am guessing I didn’t see my first eagle in the wild until age 30. Now, I see them daily. Well almost.

8. I hate infomercials.

True confessions, QC is a bit of an insomniac. Even though my lovely bride and I have a massive array of stations to choose from, it sure seems like 200 of those channels are devoted to selling stuff. Sadly, even some of my favorite channels seem to populate their late night line-up with programs selling stuff; and their presentations are boring. Where is Ron Popiel now that we need him the most?

With all of this hating, I thought I would add a couple more just to round out the list. And these are not tongue in cheek. I hate one-size-fits all hats. As a lifelong member of the cowboy hat wearing club, cowboy hats need to fit perfectly. And, I hate photo-enforced speeding tickets. While I would never condone unsafe driving, I just hate getting one of those 65 dollar tickets in the mail.

Just saying…

Filed Under: Humor

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