50+ Lifestyles

Your Advocacy Connection

We Solve Long Term Care Problems

By Kathy Nitz
GolderCare Solutions

When Is It Time To Hang Up The Keys?

Driving. When is it time to give up the keys? When is it times to take away the keys from Dad? That is the $100,000.00 question.

I always say that if somebody tried to take away my keys, I would rather they cut off my right arm. It is my freedom, my independence.

I had the occasion to re-evaluate that question recently.  My son and I went to the beach right after his high school graduation. We needed some down time and Florida beaches provided exactly what we needed. While we were there, the local news was following a story that was rather disturbing and thought provoking. By the way, this was prior to the
terrible tragedy that happened recently in Orlando.

An elderly gentleman had driven onto a sidewalk hitting a mother walking with her 3 year old in a stroller. He killed the toddler instantly, and the mother was in critical condition the last we heard about the case when we left Florida. It was a terrible accident, and everybody was talking about it. The news gave us “updates” to the story on a daily basis.

Apparently the gentleman had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease about 3 years prior to this accident. His wife had been his caretaker until her death about 9 months ago. He had three children in the area who had assumed care for him after the death of their mother.

After his wife’s death, the man went out and bought a new car, despite having diminished capacity. The children did nothing about his paying sticker price for the car. Obviously he had been taken advantage of by the car dealer. The children also did nothing about taking the keys away from the man.

Further to the story, there was an interview with the office manager of the doctor who was treating this man. They stated that they had made numerous efforts to contact the children to express the doctor’s opinion that the man should not be driving, as he would be a danger to himself and others on the road. The doctor also had written to the Florida Department of Transportation stating he should not have a license to drive as he did not have the capacity to do so.

One of the children, a daughter was interviewed by the press as well.  She was very defensive in her posture, stating that her dad was very angry, and they did not want to make him mad by taking away the keys. They did not want to risk their father’s anger, and now a child is dead and a mother is clinging to life; because they did not want to make their father mad.

In addition, it was reported that the father of the child and husband of the woman had already retained an attorney with the intent of filing some type of suit against the family. It was reported that the attorney felt he had grounds to do so, as the children had assumed care for their father and had knowledge of the danger and did nothing to stop it.

This story really made me stop and think. Did I want to risk a child’s life because I would be so stubborn that I would not give up the keys to the car? Would I want to risk my own life? Would I want to put my family and the family of the person I may hit through this pain and anguish? I think the logical answer is NO; but logic becomes confused as dementia and disease progress. When dealing with someone with diminished capacity, whether due to Alzheimer’s Disease or some other dementia, it is up to those who care for them to make the informed decision.  Would you feel safe riding in the car with your loved one driving? I don’t think anybody wants a death on their conscience.

Kathy Nitz is a Lead Benefits Advocate for GolderCare Solutions. She uses her wealth of knowledge and experience in benefits planning to advocate for seniors and those who are disabled.  You can reach Kathy at GolderCare Solutions Unlimited, LLC (309) 764-2273.