50+ Lifestyles

Your Advocacy Connection

By Gail Glockhoff-Long
GolderCare Solutions

Time to Rethink Holiday Traditions??

Fiddler on the Roof opens with Tevye commenting,“A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a
fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy. You may ask, why do we stay up there if it’s so dangerous? We stay because Anatevka is our home… And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in one word… Tradition. You may ask, how did this tradition start?  I’ll tell you – I don’t know. But it’s
a tradition”

Growing up, the Thanksgiving and Christmas tradition in our family was to gather with mom’s three sisters and their families at one of the homes with 8-10 adults and 12 kids.  Everyone brought food. Turkey, all the fixings and pies. Good food and lots of games. My sister would call in from California to be part of the gathering. The tradition passed down to the next generation to be the cooks and hosts. As our parents aged and went into nursing care, we moved the meal and gathering to a room at the nursing home. We still got together with lots of food, hugs and laughter.

Then came COVID.

Don’t panic. We can still celebrate holidays – but we may need to rethink our traditions.

For years my dinner group has gathered monthly to share food and fellowship around a particular theme. This year, we are opting for safety. We gather by zoom at the appointed time, catch up with each other, chat and discuss the themed meal each of us is having. It is not the same, but it does keep us in touch.  A new tradition.

Here are some COVID year tradition variations to try:

• Schedule a ZOOM or FaceTime family gathering. Many senior facilities have the ability to facilitate this type of meeting. Does mom have an I-Pad?
• Schedule a phone call – this can either be the method of everyone passes the phone around to talk to mom or set up a conference call with a service like freeconference.com with multiple people on the phone at the same time.
• Schedule a visit with the senior facility. Most facilities have an area used for family visits. Masks and distancing will be required. Bring along a piece of mom’s favorite dessert that she can eat after the visit. Maybe you visit with a laptop and log mom into Zoom to see other family members.
• Check on current protocol where mom lives before picking her up to go to your house for Thanksgiving dinner. If she leaves the grounds with you, she may have to quarantine 14 days when she returns.
• If mom is still at home or living with you, before inviting everyone – remember, just because someone is family does not mean they are COVID safe. Many of the super spreader events have been large family gatherings.
• Contact time is part of the COVID equation. A short visit is safer than a long visit.

Yes, it is time to rethink our holiday traditions. Why do we traditionally get together over the holidays? Certainly, a fundamental aspect of it is to celebrate each other and to rekindle our love and support for extended family, friends, and community members.

Realizing this, it becomes clear there is no reason or need to change that part of our holiday traditions this year. The only aspects of our holiday traditions we might find it advisable to change are more superficial.

Mutual care and support is part of the bedrock upon which our holiday traditions are based. That will never change. It’s just that this year the best way to accomplish it may be the opposite of the usual way: show your love and support by congregating less, social distancing more.

Happy Holidays to All!!  Stay safe!

GolderCare Solutions Unlimited, LLC is an independent care advocacy group for seniors, the disabled and those that care for them.  You can reach GolderCare at (309) 764-2273 and learn more at www.goldercare.com.