50+ Lifestyles

The Importance of Adult/Child Playtime

By Paula Jaeger,
Child Therapist
Child Abuse Council

While children do need time to play alone and with other children, playtime with the special adults in their lives is just as important. Children crave time with these adults. It makes them feel special. Parents (caregivers) are encouraged to set aside special time to spend playing with their kids on a regular basis. This could be something as simple as 30 minutes every Saturday. Play time together can teach children patience, problem solving and social skills.

Here are some suggestions in engaging with your child in play:

• Sit at the same level as child. If child is sitting on the floor, then you also should be sitting on the floor.
• Give child your undivided attention. Turn off your cell phone, television and computer. Dedicate this time to your child. Follow child’s lead. In pretend play, let the child develop the theme. Get into their world. Let them go with it. Ask questions. Play along. Be silly along with them and have fun. Stay in child’s play theme (do not talk about what you are going to be doing later).
• Have child direct you on what they want you to say or have your character or toy do next. For example if you are playing doll house and your child hands you a doll, you can whisper “what should I do with her/him?” Another example is if child hands you a pretend ice cream cone, whisper “do I like it?”  We can’t assume that your child wants you to like it. If child says “No, you don’t like it,” then say something like “Yuck, I don’t like it.”
• Reflect on your child’s play (what you are seeing and hearing) without getting in the way of the play.
  Match Child’s tone (If child is loud, then you be loud. If child whispers, then you whisper).

Adults can also use stuffed animals/puppets or dolls to act out real-life situations.  Let the puppet demonstrate the wrong way to handle a situation. Then, along with input from the child, act out a better way. Afterward, let the child do the same.

By playing with your child in this way, you are empowering your child. Your child will act out what he/she needs to act out. Play is a child’s way of communicating what is going on in their world. A child may at times display negative themes in their play, but understand that this is their way of working out their problems.

Playing with your children builds a bond that will last forever. It lets the child know he or she is loved and appreciated. It opens the door for sharing problems and concerns when the need arises. It helps the adult get to know and understand the individuality of each child.

For information about the Child Abuse Council’s prevention, education and treatment programs you can visit us as www.childabuseqc.org, or call (309) 736-7170.