50+ Lifestyles

Keep It Burnin’

Keep It Burnin’

By David W. Deuth, CFSP
President, Weerts Funeral Home

Last month, I shared a lesser-known two-sentence quote, attributed to Mother Teresa, which I had never heard before – and how that quote immediately brought to mind this old chorus I had learned as a kid:

“Give me oil in my lamp, keep it burnin’
Give me oil in my lamp I pray,
Give me oil in my lamp, keep it burnin’, burnin’ burnin’
Keep it burnin’ til the break of day….”

Perhaps ironically, her statement actually began with something entirely different: “If you want a love message to be heard,” she wisely stated, “it has got to be sent out.” While this first sentence didn’t bring that old sing-song chorus to mind, it really resonated with me because of the undeniable parallels between a “love message” and the very essence of a funeral or memorial service – the very reason for such events in the first place. What a beautiful word picture to illustrate why we gather to reflect, remember and honor one who has died – and further, what a powerful reminder that this message must be sent out in order to be heard!

The second part of her statement, at first glance, didn’t really connect all that naturally to the first. Filtered through my funeral director’s lens, however, dots were immediately connected in my mind when I read these words:

“To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”

Mother Teresa’s words not only recollect that sing-song chorus I learned with similar words so many years ago, her words also take me back to an a-ha moment some years ago when I came to better understand that, although we gather when someone has died, and for all the right reasons, we truly gather all the more so because they lived. And there IS a notable difference!

The death of someone we love touches us all at some point. It hurts. It’s hard. It’s overwhelming. And somehow, in the midst of it, we have to figure out how to keep going after the funeral or memorial service is over. This is where the “oil in my lamp” part comes to mind.

When we go through the valleys of our lives (and the death of someone we love is certainly one of the deepest of those valleys), we naturally expend a lot of ourselves – our oil, if you will – to salve our hurts and heal our hearts. In so doing, there is decidedly less oil available to fuel the flame of our hearts with peace and contentment and meaningful joy, among other things.

Now, rewind to Mother Teresa‘s notion that we must keep putting oil in a lamp in order to keep it burning. Not to be overlooked is the beautiful certainty that others in our lives can actually infuse oil and ignite flame that is so acutely needed when our own oil and flame have been expended in the hard toils of grief. Yet even while this is true, so is it true that this refueling and re-igniting cannot occur without meaningful interaction. Sharing. Hugs. Stories. Tears. Sometimes laughter through the tears.

I’m privileged daily to be witness to this very refueling and reigniting as people come together when someone’s flame is dim and their oil is low because someone they love has died…and another comes alongside them to gently infuse oil and rekindle flame through tears and laughter and sharing and stories and hugs.

No wonder, is it, that mankind has – throughout all generations, and instinctively so – gathered to honor those who have died? I can think of no better corollary to Mother Teresa’s exhortation that…“To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”

It is incumbent upon each of us to do so. For ourselves. For each other. And for all the right reasons.
Go light your world.
Remember Well.