50+ Lifestyles

Just Saying…

By Q.C. Jones

March in Review – A Snake Story

“Beware the Ides of March” crowed the haggard, dirty and rag-covered old soothsayer. Recalling the tale of poor Julius Caesar, chronicled by historians, musicians, poets and even one shiny-headed 16th Century guy named William Shakespeare, I believe the story rings true to humans of all ages. It is the classic story of false friends. Let me elaborate.

From all accounts, Julius was a pretty good guy.  War hero, statesman, philanthropist and noted author and much more. He developed social reforms, designed accurate calendars and promoted science. His smiling mug was everywhere. The people loved him. Actually, he was loved by nearly everyone; with nearly being the key word. It seems a few of the Roman Senate, a bunch of fat guys in togas lazing around and munching grapes and garlic, didn’t care much for the way he helped out those dirty-faced commoners.

From an early age, Caesar had a shirt-tale relative with whom he was quite close. This guy was a self-proclaimed friend. Caesar saved his life during a civil war, trusted him, and shared his inner personal thoughts. His pal reciprocated publically, loudly and blatantly. One day, this supposed friend, decided to stab him in the back. I think Shakespeare said it best, “Et tu Brutae” which translates as “you too Brutus.” Somewhere in life many of us run into a friend of questionable character. It’s a story of human kind. Some people are snakes.

Snakes are the most despised of all nature’s creatures.  Snakes are elongated, legless, carnivorous reptiles of the suborder “Serpentes” (hence the name Serpent). Arguably, they are sneaky, cruel, mean and often poisonous. Snakes are mentioned over 80 times in the Bible and as far as I can denote, never in a happy way.

Turning to the very first book of the Bible, snakes get tagged squarely between their squinty little eyes. Quoting from Genesis, “The serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made.” So far so good, but we all know how the snake was evil and talked Eve into trying a bite of the forbidden fruit. As punishment, God let him have it. Moving again to the ancient text of Genesis, God said to Mr. Snake, “Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.” Ouch. Later on, both Jesus and John the Baptist connected the dots on the nasty form of human life by referring to the Pharisees as a “brood of vipers” and “snakes.”

By now you are no doubt wondering how all this snake stuff connects again to the month of March. Well, it seems that snakes are found everywhere on earth except; Antarctica – a place where no one has yet conducted a solid Texas Style Snake Hunt, New Zealand, and Ireland.

While we can’t really put our finger on why there are no snakes in New Zealand, we all know how Ireland got off Serpent free. Yes, it was Saint Patrick.

Like Caesar, Saint Patrick was of Roman descent. Born in England and taken to Ireland in his teens. Early in the fifth century his Christian upbringing was awakened in him, and he shared it with the people of Ireland. Legend has it that mid fifth-century, he rid the island of snakes. March 17th is St. Patrick’s Day, which commemorates the day of his death.

The good old QCA is pretty safe from snakes of the poisonous variety. In over 30 years of outdoor activities in the Quad-Cities and Iowa in general, I have never encountered a venomous snake. But back in the olden days, snakes were a bit more prevalent. According to scholarly research conducted by Doug Atkinson and James Mahaffy of the Biology Department of Dordt College in Sioux Center:

“As part of a research project on historic populations of rattlesnakes in Iowa and Minnesota, we have uncovered accounts or records of 82 deaths attributed to rattlesnakes (or snakes) in Iowa. It is possible that some of the deaths may have been aggravated by ethanol poisoning. Standard treatment at that time of most of the deaths was to have the patient consume large quantities of whiskey.”

Now come St. Patrick’s day, I believe a good many fine folks will turn preventive in their treatment of snakebite.  Irish whiskey will be passed around, just in case St. Paddy missed one. Another point of interest, the last reported death from a snake bite in Scott County was a lady named Mary Moore in 1845. Just saying…