March 31, 2017
Just Saying…
By Q.C. Jones
There’s something weird about April
Most folks smilingly slide into the month of April. With winter clearly in the rearview, summer up ahead and visions of May flowers (and their creepy cousins the May Fly) buzzing in their heads, it’s a great time to be alive and living in the good old Quad-Cities. But, behind the thin brocade of normalcy, there lurks a weird world of wonder. And, after rigorous research, your pal QC Jones is about to send your mind spinning in some strange directions.
First, yeah first, did you know that April used to be the first month on the calendar? Ancient Romans as well as Hindu’s across the planet celebrated New Years on April 1st. Research isn’t conclusive as to whether Dick Clark helped them count down the minutes till the big ball dropped, but it’s not out of the question. Can you imagine April enthusiast’s disgust when Pope Gregory XIII decided to switch things around and make January 1st the “new” New Year’s Day? It happened. The internet being what it was back in 1582, a lot of people didn’t get the announcement. These people, most of whom were both illiterate and uniformed, continued to celebrate the New Year on April 1st. I guess it was kind of foolish of them and people, being the way they are, labeled the celebrants as Fools. But that’s not the big news in the weirdness file.
One unworldly group somehow didn’t get the memo about the calendar either. It could be they didn’t understand Latin. In an effort to become a full grown Renaissance man, your friend QC took two years of Latin in High School and two semesters in college. I studied the language in detail. To the best of my knowledge, this educational privilege eluded those receiving educations on other planets. Alien schools being what they are, the Aliens continue to show up in April.
April is numero uno in the UFO sighting stats, and it’s not a recent phenomenon. Here are some details.
Enter the Tulli Papyrus. This is an ancient Egyptian Manuscript dating to 1440 BC. First discovered in 1933, the hieroglyphics were painstakingly translated to reveal the April sightings of UFOs in the time of Pharaoh Thutmose II. “Fiery disks” were seen floating over the skies; and one of the scribes felt compelled to record it for posterity. Or, was this just a travelogue for later alien tourists?
Just like Bermuda short clad tourists to the “Family Affordable” GatorLand outside Orlando, alien visitors have clearly pegged April as the “right time of year” to visit the Giza Pyramids. Again, thinking about the tour busses parallel parked out in the spacious GatorLand parking lot, the Alien tour business is hopping. On April 19th of last year a “fleet” of UFO’s appeared over the Giza Pyramids. Papyrus being in short supply, the Modern Egyptians recorded this event onto the internet. Don’t believe me, do a quick “Google Search” and watch the videos. But one or two events does not make April a notably weird and wacky month, read on.
European Vacation anyone? No trip to Germany is complete without checking out the massive castle in the Bavarian city-state of Nuremburg. Or at least so thought our alien tourists.
Timeline: April 14, 1561. Around dawn, residents of Nuremberg saw what they described as an aerial battle, followed by the appearance of a large black triangular object, and then a large crash outside of the city. According to witnesses, there were hundreds of spheres, cylinders and other odd-shaped objects that moved erratically overhead. This little bit of news was picked up by one of the precursors of the 50+ Lifestyle Magazine – A broadsheet which is now housed in Zurich, Switzerland. But wait there’s more.
April 17th, 1897: an incident was reported by a number of locals in the north Texas town of Aurora. In this incident an alien craft crashed on the outskirts of town and the “tourist” was buried in the local cemetery. Reports were sent to newspapers in Dallas and Ft. Worth. Thinking that Texas is popular with the alien vacation crowd, let’s look at more recent report.
A UFO was spotted on April 9th 1950 hovering over Fort Worth Texas. Apparently, a photographer was able to wield his Brownie in the direction and snap a couple of nice photos. The US Airforce said the clearly identified UFOs were just “imperfections in the negative,” but the kid down at the corner photo shop was not impressed with the critique of his work. But, the space traveler set is expanding their horizons…
According to a website called UFOSightingHotSpot, on April 24, 2016, Kat Martin captured another strange event. This one at the Elk Refuge near Yellowstone. Seemingly our Martian (no offense to the citizens of Saturn) brethren missed the reports of traffic jams and overcrowding on the roads in and out of this great National Park. We can only hope they didn’t feed the bears.
Is April the end? No, it’s the beginning. According to the German mathematician, astronomer, and astrologer Johannes Kepler, best known as a key figure in the 17th-century scientific revolution and the person who laid the groundwork for Isaac Newton’s theory of gravitation, the universe was created on April 27th, 4977 BC. We should have a party; alien abductions for all the kids. We’re overdue for a visit. Just saying…
