50+ Lifestyles

The TALK

By Erin Hanna
Associate Director, Alternatives

No one likes those awkward, uncomfortable conversations we have with our closest loved ones. Your parents probably had one with you in your teens, and now it’s your turn to return the favor. How do you talk to your parents about future care preferences as they age, especially if they are healthy and active? And yet, this conversation is important to allow family caregiver(s) to respect their loved one’s wishes and eliminate guessing about what should be done later. With the upcoming holidays, now might be the perfect time to start this conversation.

While legal and financial decisions are not simple, many find social and emotional issues more difficult to navigate. It can feel daunting to talk about aging and the needs that may come with loss of mobility and health. The goal of initial conversations is to gain insight and preferences; not necessarily to make decisions. Here are some good starter questions to gain a general idea of what your loved one values;

• What is most important to you in your life, what are key values or priorities?
• Can you describe what you want your life to look like in ten or twenty years?
• Do you see yourself staying put or downsizing? Staying in your current community or moving closer to children or grandchildren?
• If your health declines or situation becomes more challenging, what do you see as the first step?

Sitting down together to note priorities not only helps get everyone on a similar page, it also helps begin the process of thinking forward.For older parents, it is a gift for your
children when to share this information and it can reduce their stress about the future.

Once everyone has had time to think more about this conversation, they may just be ready to go further with their planning. What resources are available in the community that fit with what they would like to see happen? Even if the information isn’t needed now, becoming familiar with the resources available in the community can help make future planning smoother.

No matter where they live, there is an Area Agency on Aging to contact to find out what resources are available. They can provide information about home care providers, senior transportation, meal delivery services, adult day centers, and care coordination units in their area. In the Quad Cities region, you can contact the Western Illinois Area Agency on Aging for Illinois residents or Milestones Area Agency on Aging for Iowa residents.

If you would like someone to help determine what is the best fit for your loved ones, Care Coordination Units in Illinois provide free in-home assessments and make referrals based on individual needs and preferences. Alternatives (for the Older Adult, Inc.) is proud to serve a ten county region in Midwestern Illinois and has care coordinators available to visit with your family in their home to discuss options available.

However you go about navigating this journey, just take the first step with a conversation, you will be very glad you did.