50+ Lifestyles

The Melding of Friends

By Mary Schricker Gemberling

“A good friend is a connection to life…a tie to the past…..
a road to the future…the key to sanity in this crazy world.”

…………..Anonymous

One of the real perks of a blended marriage is the merging of new and old friends. I have often said how blessed Gary and I are with the comradery of our blended families, but this weekend was a reminder of how the friendships from our past lives have melded and become a real source of joy to both of us. A few years ago Gary and I were planning a trip to the UK, combining a tour of Ireland with navigating the canals of England in self-driven longboats. The potential trip sparked interest among several of our friends and before we knew it we had six people committed to joining us. The group was unique in that the couples came from both of our pasts and had not yet had the opportunity to meet each other.
It occurred to me that the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day might be an opportune time to host the group and discuss our upcoming trip.

The Group: 2014

Four of my good friends and former Quad City neighbors, Jim & Diane Tiedje and Mark & Becky Christy joined two of Gary’s friends and former Peru Illinois neighbors, Anida & Roger Chamlin, at our house here in Atlanta, Illinois. It took about an hour before everyone let down their guard and started to feel comfortable with each other. By the end of the day all eight of us seemed to feel positive about the adventure awaiting us in June.

The trip was a huge success and the beginning of many memories for our blended friends. Every year since 2014, we have met for a St. Patrick’s Party; and this weekend was once again my turn to host. But yesterday, the warm smiles and hugs replaced the guarded politeness of five years ago. We were now eight friends anticipating a fun filled day of good food, good drinks and lots of laughter. There is a casualness fostered by banter that now permeates our group. We anticipate that Diane will have the best and most spirited outfit; that Becky will have the funniest and best stories; we will groan at Roger’s jokes and laugh at Anida’s comment that, it took a real leap of faith for Roger and her to go on a trip with Gary’s new wife and four of her best friends! We share stories of our kids and grandkids even though they have not all met. The constant chatter is interrupted by an occasional filling of an empty wine glass, or a more permanent pause when we sit down to our traditional dinner of corned beef and cabbage.

The Group: 2019

We now try to gather more often throughout the year, experiencing new adventures together and encompassing even more friends from each of our former lives. We are all retired now and understand even better the importance of friends as we age. As is the case with friendships that deepen, we now share stories of joy as well as trouble. Although no one speaks of it, we know that aging will most certainly bring changes to the group and we will not always number eight, but the bonds of the remaining friends will ease the sorrow.

But in the meantime my hope is that we will continue to grow in our friendship fueled by more rich memories!

Mary, a former educator and Seniors Real Estate Specialist, is the author of three books: The West End Kid, Labor of Love; My Personal Journey through the world of Caregiving, and Hotel Blackhawk; A Century of Elegance.