50+ Lifestyles

A Strange Year

By Mary Schricker Gemberling

“Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength”

…….Dalai Lama

A few years ago Gary and I asked three other couples to join us on a trip to Ireland and England. Two of the couples were my neighbors and good friends in Iowa and the others had been Gary’s neighbors for many years in Peru, Illinois. In an effort to introduce everyone and discuss our trip Gary and I hosted a St. Patrick’s Day Party.

The trip three months later was a success, and we have all remained good friends, taking turns hosting each year to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day and our friendship. One year ago today as Gary and I drove to Peru, Illinois for the annual party we speculated how everyone would react to the latest news about the strange virus over in China that had triggered the World Health Organization to declare a pandemic. Once we greeted each other, some with a bit of reticence to hug, we discussed what we all knew (or thought we knew) about the virus and then we caught up on our lives as usual. Little did we know that for some that would be the last actual gathering of friends or family for nearly a year.

As the one year anniversary of Covid-19 approaches the news media continues to report on the tragedies of the past year. In my typical “glass is half full” approach I have decided to take a look at just a few of the good things that have emerged from of our year long struggle.

• Family IS the most important thing. When the reality of the situation set in, family members had to assess their individual situations and for some who were in the high risk category or whose children lived across the country the news was dire. From the very beginning families were forced to look for a way to connect. They did so with an abundance of creativity and resourcefulness. They moved in together, zoomed, phoned often, and in some cases quit their jobs to help other family members. A friend even shared that they saw more of their grandchildren on zoom than they usually did in person when in reality they lived just a few miles away. Perhaps our busy lifestyles had shoved the reality of spending time with family to the bottom of our to do list when in our hearts it was number one. Some parents also had the chance to reconnect with their adult children. From February to July, 2020, 2.6 million young adults moved back with one or both parents, resulting in a major culture shift. The everyday sharing of meal preparations and eating together, assisting with homework, learning technology, and household chores all reached across generational levels in millions of homes across our country for the first time in centuries. One result these many months later is the increased demand for multi-generational housing. That indelible image of our older generation living alone either at home or in a facility is one millions of Americans are rethinking. “Among the warts and complexities of all that went wrong we discovered the interdependence of generations and how much we need each other.”
• Without good health little else matters. As the virus turned our lives upside down, America became a hibernation nation. With 7 out of 10 American workers doing their jobs from home, Covid turned our focus on the small simple pleasures that give us meaning. The things we thought we didn’t have time for. The absence of sitting in traffic, shuffling children to multiple activities, waiting in fast food lines, flying across country for business meetings, attending sporting events, going to the movies, yada yada yada has left millions of Americans with hours and hours of time to do what? It looks like many adopted pets, planted gardens, bought RV’s, boats, bikes, & lake homes. It seems when our world gets small, nature lets us live large. The drive-in movie business boomed for the first time in decades. In a throwback to their younger days people began cooking or baking for family as well as others in isolation; some revisited TV & music from their childhood or wrote in journals. And many, with pajamas their new wardrobe of choice, found time to enjoy some good old fashioned time in a bubble bath, read a good book, or put together a jig-saw puzzle. For the first time in a very long time, people had time to take care of themselves. Most ate better, exercised more, and started paying attention to how they looked…after all we had a lot of time to stare at each other. The result of all of this is not only a healthier society, but we are setting examples for the younger generation as something to establish and maintain for their entire life. I hope we don’t fall off the bandwagon on this one, because if more of us had been healthier to begin with perhaps fewer might have succumbed to this terrible virus.
• We understand the need to increase our ‘rainy day’ fund. I had always been taught to ‘pay myself first’; in other words if I earned $40 I could spend $20 and save $20. So you can imagine my surprise when I read that according to the Federal Reserve, before the pandemic, nearly 4 in 10 households did not have cash to cover an unexpected $400 expense. The good news is now thanks to quarantines and forced frugality, American’s savings rate have increased for some. But for many others, the climb out of debt will be a long journey. We have programs and money available to both individuals and businesses to help them get back on their feet. But it seems the answer to helping people save for the future, lies in company sponsored savings incentive programs, changing credit guidelines and availability, and increased education especially in high school, on finance management. I learned a valuable lesson as a young adult from a TV salesman in Omaha Nebraska. I still remember his words, “With the exception of real estate and transportation do not buy anything on credit unless you have cash in the bank to pay for it.” We went home, saved that money, and then bought the TV we wanted. Credit can be a good thing when credit can work for you.
• Technology is here to stay. Prior to the pandemic I shopped some online, had ordered groceries once on a family vacation, face timed on a dozen or so occasions, and had never streamed a movie. Like many other seniors I feel I have knocked on George Jetson’s door. I now Zoom with ease, have a Roku and have streamed more movies in the last year than I have watched in my entire lifetime. And my greatest joy is when my phone rings and I see the sweet faces of Lucy and Pearl excited to tell me something. Without a doubt the “biggest long-term societal effect of the pandemic will be a grand flipping of the switch that makes the digital solution the first choice for many Americans handling life’s tasks.” Our society has proven to be a far more resilient in this area than most would have predicted. We have been forced kicking and screaming, to learn new technologies and I don’t know about you but I am enjoying it! And although I have not had to use it yet, ‘Telemedicine’ gives me great hope as an aging senior. I have even read that in person routine checkups will soon be a thing of the past.
• People can work from anywhere. Our acreage in Central Illinois is surrounded by small, dying, and somewhat deserted towns. Most of the young people who grew up there had to go where the jobs were, and as the coming of big box stores caused the small hardware and grocery stores to go out of business causing vacant properties to sit on the market. But something interesting happened last year; nearly every property listed in the area sold within days of being listed and some with multiple offers. Word was that some of the new buyers, who could work from home, were leaving more populated areas. I pray that this becomes a trend, as I think the loss of ‘small town America’ is one of our countries saddest stories. Whether it happens or not the ability to work from home will give some more choices in how and where they want to live their life.

I can’t help but think of this last year as a correction or reboot of our way of life.

Perhaps like when a cell phone freezes and has to be turned off and restarted in order to work; or when a computer’s memory gets so full, data has to be cleared to make room for the new. Sometimes in this process important information is lost and we have to start over. And although we’ve lost a bit of the old it seems we have a new and improved society in so many ways. For many it will mean a new start and good things will come from that. Maybe it’s not about trying to fix something that’s broken…maybe it’s about starting over and creating something better……writing a new chapter in life. As any eight individuals might, our Irish group all reacted a bit differently to the progression of events that occurred during this past year, but thankfully we all emerged physically untouched by the virus and ready to resume some normalcy in our lives.

The host and hostess have postponed our 2021 party until sometime in May after we have all received our vaccines. They think they would like to have a taco bar. Perhaps a bit strange for an Irish celebration, but then again it’s been a really strange year!

“It’s not the strongest of the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.”

………Leon Megginson

Mary Schricker Gemberling

Mary, a former educator and Seniors Real Estate Specialist, is the author of four books: The West End Kid; The Life of Dr. Jack Sunderbruch, Labor of Love; My Personal Journey through the World of Caregiving, Hotel Blackhawk; A Century of Elegance, and Ebenezer United Methodist Church; 150 Years of Resiliency.