January 1, 2025
Elusive Inner ‘Peace’
By Mary Schricker Gemberling
“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.”
… Anonymous
The Holidays are full of references to peace such as ‘Peace on earth and good will to men,’ Christmas is the time we celebrate the birth of Christ, ‘The Prince of Peace’. Many Christmas greetings use the word peace, and it is prevalent in many carols we sing such as; ‘Let there be Peace on Earth.’ Even in war torn areas there is often a temporary truce on Christmas Day. It has often occurred to me that if they can stop fighting for a day, why can’t they figure out how to continue it? Which brings me to my next question, what is peace and why does it so elude us in our every day lives. It seems we have to be celebrating a holiday, suffering a life altering illness, mourning the victims of a horrific tragedy, or on the precipice of death.
This fall I spent a few days in St. Louis visiting my cousin and a dear friend who recently was diagnosed with cancer. Although we all know some who have beat the odds, she is most likely not going to be one of them, as this is her second bout with the dreaded disease. And even though this may be our last visit, it was one rich with laughter and memories of all the fun times we have shared during the last twenty or so years. Carolyn Rose was one of a foursome including my cousin, myself and another friend who passed earlier this year. We all loved to travel, drink wine, eat and laugh. My mind is a collage of photos of the four of us in so many locations having more fun than you can imagine. During our visit she talked of being at peace with whatever happened; she reflected on the good life she had lived and how she hoped she would once again be reunited with the love of her life, who was taken from her far too soon with the same awful disease.
Since my visit with her, I have thought a lot about that word ‘peace’ and what it really means to me. I researched and found many meanings for the word, but I was quick to settle on “a state of tranquility or quiet.” I do not think on most days I am tranquil or very quiet. I am someone who is in constant movement of doing, or planning to do. I am a multi-tasker, rarely performing just one activity at a time. And as far as being quiet, that just doesn’t happen much; just ask my husband? So are we talking about overt quietness, or do we mean inner quiet? And what brings us to that state of inner peace? Is it certain thoughts or actions, or people and events that bring us peace. And once found how do we hold on to it?
I think the first step to inner peace might be accepting who we are….our strengths, flaws, desires, dreams…everything that makes us uniquely ourselves. When this happens we can feel less impacted by anxiety, worry, or stress. There is little doubt that this is easier in our sunset years than when we were young and more unsure. Finding inner peace is not about respite from stress or moments of relaxation. It is about finding an overall calm and balanced state of mind through mindfulness. My recent awareness of mindfulness happened to me quite by accident. I was wearing a newly purchased Apple Watch when one day I received an alert that suggested that I stop, take a break and a deep breath. Evidently this is a watch setting that I unknowingly activated. About the same time I had been suffering from some neck pain that just would not go away. I decided to schedule a massage, at which time I was told again to learn to relax and take deep breaths. Someone was trying to tell me something! Mindfulness is not always easy for those of us who are constantly on the go, both mentally and physically, but it is especially important as we age. As I tried what my watch and my therapist suggested, I found it working. The neck pain improved, and I began sleeping better. My recent research suggested that there are also other ways to practice mindfulness and aim for that feeling of inner peace.
- Meditate. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Repeat until you feel calm.
- Live in the present. It’s hard to be a senior and not talk about or hear other’s stories about the past, but the present moment is truly all we have. Embrace it, live it, and enjoy.
- Cultivate a positive mindset. Our mind can be our greatest ally or our worst enemy. With all the negativity and turmoil in our world we need to make a conscious effort to be positive.
- Take care of your physical, mental and emotional needs. Being nice to yourself is not a luxury; it is a necessity. Not only do you deserve it, but it’s an important ingredient forinner peace.
- Pay attention. It’s hard to slow down and notice things in a busy world. Try to take the time to experience your environment with all of your senses — touch, sound, sight, smell and taste. For example, when you eat a favorite food, take the time to smell, taste and truly enjoy it.
Being mindful can help us be more accepting of our changing world and embrace the positive things around us. Perhaps by doing this we can all come a little closer to that feeling of inner peace. May each and every one of you have a happy, healthy, and Peaceful 2025.
Mary, a former educator and Seniors Real Estate Specialist is the author of four books: The West End Kid, Labor of Love; My Personal Journey through the World of Caregiving, Hotel Blackhawk: A Center of Elegance, and Ebenezer United Methodist Church: 150 Years of Resiliency.
Readers,
It’s been a while since I have written a book, but an idea I have for a new one has been bubbling to the surface. Since I am not getting any younger, nor seem to have a plethora of extra time these days, I may not be writing articles EVERY month for this publication. I will certainly try to continue to submit an article from time to time but am hoping to spend some time working on my new project, a Blended Family Cookbook. It will include recipes from both Gary’s and my former lives plus the fifteen years of our blended lives together. Cooking has been an important part of who I am since I was a young girl in the kitchen of my childhood home learning from my mother. Organizing these recipes and putting them on paper is my legacy to our children, grandchildren and hopefully generations to come.
Filed Under: Community, Family, Health & Wellness, News, Personal Growth
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