50+ Lifestyles

Mother’s Wise Words

By Mary Schricker Gemberling

“God could not be everywhere,
and therefore he made mothers.”
                                … Rudyard Kipling

My mom and dad were married 50+ years and enjoyed a wonderful retirement in my childhood home in Missouri and their condo in Florida. My mom was 82 when my dad died, and within the year she sold the house and moved to Davenport to be near the boys and I. Although I had visited frequently, I had not lived near her in over 40 years so it was an adjustment having her just down the street. I tried to call or visit every day, and over time we got to know each other as two adults on a far more equal footing than as a mother-daughter. She made new friends with whom she would go shopping and out to lunch. She got to know my friends, and often had her single grandsons over for a hearty home cooked meal. She cared for her flowers, fed the birds, tried out new recipes and joined the circle group at church. Although she missed my dad, she had a good life. One day she had a stroke, followed by another which led to months of decline and subsequent death.

In April 2009 my mother passed away at the age of 89. The last sixteen years have been full of many life events that she missed; weddings, births, graduations, and so much more. I can’t imagine how excited she would have been at the birth of her great grandchildren! And how happy she would have been to know Gary and see the love that we share. I miss her presence, especially when I am feeding the birds, tending my flowers or trying new recipes. But most of all I miss her wisdom. When I stumbled upon the following slightly funny interpretation of a mother’s wisdom I couldn’t help but think of her. So in this month that we honor our mothers I thought it fitting to share. I hope it brings a smile to your face and a happy memory of your own mother.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISTS.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me about GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

Copyright © 1998-2022, Peter W. D. Wright and Pamela

“A mother’s happiness is like a beacon,
lighting up the future but reflected also
on the past in the guise of fond memories.”
                                         … Honore De Balzac

Mary, a former educator and Seniors Real Estate Specialist, is the author of four books: The West End Kid, Labor of Love: My Personal Journey through the World of Caregiving, Hotel Blackhawk: A Century of Elegance, and Ebenezer United Methodist Church; 150 Years of Resiliency.